Rubixing and Rubiking

This was inspired by my feeble attempt to hit on someone ... in as creepy and as cute as possible. (let's dress up as Rubix cubes, and solve each other all night.) The line was more of a success than a face slapper. But now i have to work on my giant cardboard Rubix cube costume. Yes, i will be able to turn and be solved, albeit at a severe discomfort to me. 

Google's underlining of my words has brought to my attention that Rubix is actually spelled Rubik. So for the remainder of this site, we are all going to do the christian thing, and pretend that i can't draw K's very well.

Doodles! Oh the doodles

Hey there quantum believers. You may be looking through these ancient archives since my main hub of interest is some hyper holographic area of artistic congregation. At the moment, i believe it is called The Horror Boner. Though i imagine that by the time you quantum fans are mightily amassed, the name will be quite different. Something more inappropriate as conservativeness is mostly obliterated.

Anyways, i have been playing off an on with a new photoshop brush. Stumpy Pencil ver2. (in case you wanted to google it. You know, the verb; To Google)

This here was my main character of an ongoing (mental) story. Now he is some shlump.

This other gentleman is Captain

Nocrime. He is very against crime. Also, not an homage to Brock Samson. Unless that hurts your feelings. Then it might be. Unless you are a lawyer. Then that guy's hair color is magenta. Also his symbol is supposed to be reminiscent of a NO sign. (ala Ghostbuster) But the diagonal cross is through a C ... for crime. It looks like a cent sign, or a simplified hammer and sickle. GO (away) CRIME, GO!

Busy and Lazy

Well folks, i've been mostly lazy since my last post. In ... Decemeber? woof, sorry about that. Also for the last several months (but not all 8) i've been retardo busy on various projects. One of interest is animation for a live stage production of 'Harold and the Purple Crayon'. Check your local theater's schedule for details and show tours. They needed about 55 minutes of animation. I was Assistant Director for a summer animation workshop, and lead various interns to create this piece, trying to do as little work as possible, only to do touch ups at summer's end. Well most of the interns fell through in either not completing their scenes, not getting them to me on time, not timing their sections to the music, or arranging the timelines in confusing and obscure ways. They wanted the 2 weeks between the workshop's end and the 1st stage rehersal to finish their scenes ... well in general they didn't finish up to standards, save for very few moments. About 10% was usable.

So for the following 2 weeks (including the moment this is being written) I had to finish and correct all their work. As well as create entire scenes from nothing. (needless to say, these scenes all done by me, had little tweaks and corrections later on) During these 2 weeks, i had to adjust tweak and create whatever they needed, while simply finishing uncompleted scenes. On average i was getting 1.5 non-consecutive hours a day. Some days i got 4 hours not in a row, some days 20 minutes. Needless to say i was fairly irratable toward the end of it all. Me and the director, great guy in all honesty, were pleasantly wanting to kill one another the whole time. We were both pissed at the beginning state of animation, and all his changes were expecting me to be as good as i boast. Even at modest levels, i'm phenominal. Regardless, he asked for 10 hours of animation, and with my other paying job in the way, i would only have 6 hours to work on it. If i gave up showers, sleep, shaving, and any version of food prep.

Anyways, i can't comment on the ending to this story. But in the middle of my morbidly sleep deprived state, i made a small comic about one of the HUGE plot holes of Hellboy 2. If you saw it, enjoy how much time the movie wasted with its story. If you haven't seen it, this is basically a story spoiler, but not a movie sploiler. Regardless, i loved HB2's visuals. And i loved small sections of how the story unfolded. But here is one of my frustrated moments of the movie. I plan to have many more Plot Hole Theater comics. I have plenty to say on my favorite Trilogy. stay tuned

Sorry TBs

Well i was going to suprise the quantum mass of you looking at the empty spaces between posts with a massive update, so you could at least say, 'Hey this Robbie chap cares enough to throw butt loads of pics at us for not updating in X amount of month(s)'

Well I don't have that kinda update for you gentle True Believers (i can steal that right? he has a toehold in the hole right?) so all i have is my own narcissism. I got tired of looking at my factory installed wallpaper (for my spiffy new Tablet PC) and drew me a new bedfellow to gaze at. Originally this was going to be a ... uh ... poetic image? the rabbit was going to be in a giant NO symbol, and all powerful, keeping the tentacles at bay. But instead he got erased and doomed bunny got thrown in. But thanks to Johan Vasquez ... or a correct spelling of that name ... the word doom is now as threatening as cuddlepoots. Even little gothesque girl make their little Vlogs of Doom, with their Lappys of Doom, taken from their Notebooks of Doom, kept in their doom doom doomie doom DOOOOM. So doom is kitch and now out. So there is my place holder for now, until i can think of a better villanous doom equivelant to unleash upon my fair true quantum believers, to hopefully ruin so all the preppy-goths can run around with their lunchboxes of [insert evil here].

Im closer now to Kevin Bacon than ever

So i was informed today that apparently some celebrity knows me ... more specifically my beard. If any of you have had the viewing pleasure of Kat Dennings, Her IMDB thing , this would be the dame. Through some crazy whisper-down-the-lane stuff, my crazy beard came up in someone's conversation, and she seemed to recollect it ... one would hope fondly. I have had several styled beards in the last many months and years, though now i would consider my face fuzz to be quite tame ... think a Hasidic Lucifer, but the point is a little more rounded off than usual ... but the curly mustache is in full effect. So if Kat, you are for some unfathomable reason single, and looking at my currently unvisited website because someone name dropped you in Google and landed you here, feel free to contact me... that crazy beard is is still here and ready to show you the exciting night life of Philly. Me, i'll be at home, twiddling my thumbs as you and the beard drive around in his convertible hearse with the Jolly Roger painted on the windshield. Man that sucka knows how to roll.

Okay, i feel a little bad for simply updating with no picture, and i was going to leave it at that, but i do have a resevoir of new pictures i have yet to show you gentle, humble, quantum fans. Here is a picture for the upcoming Dark Knight. One should note this drawing wasn't done in my excitement for the movie, but truly showing my lack of good taste as this picture was honestly done an hour after the late Mr Ledger's announcement that he was now late to life. Just remember, i currently do respect the man both as a Patriot and a gay Cowboy who likes pudding, and i hope to respect him dressed in my Prom Tux ... but regardless, enjoy my humor.

Oh yea, and most of this should have been inked and colored in black... and the Joker's thumb should be existent; which i will BS and say the thumb has been rigor mortis'ed behind his palm and away from the viewers' (THAT YOU!) perception, or something to that extent ... excuse my laziness. See how classy of a guy i am Kat Dennings? Call me.

There was this girl once ... she reminded me of a brick ... that was drunk

So i was working with this one broad, she was nice, and i should stop there under ancient direction from my mama, and now i shouldnt say anything at all. Anyways she went off on a furious tangent about some movie she saw ... but had no idea when, or what channel, or what it was called, or who was in it .. but maybe, just maybe there was some kinda monster in it. Maybe it came from a TV, or a movie screen, or a computer, or from a child's dream ... but this monster came out. It was a bull monster ... no ... it knew karate ... wait it was a samurai ... perhaps it was a samurai bull ... or turtle ... no wait that was TMNT ... yea, a samurai bull that came out of something at some point on some moive, that probably wasnt a TV show. So i got bored at work and drew and inked a samurai bull, because that sounds neat.

DooWopBoy

Here is a picture for a crazy-ass story I have in the back of my head. I am a pretty big fan of Hellyboy. One of the interesting things about him is that he grew up to his adult form in something like 2 years. Well I figure during that 2 year span, there had to be some time he was an awkward teenager. This would have happened in the 50s and of course Hellboy, trying to fit in with other folk, would have dressed like a greaser. So here is teenage greaser Hellboy.

Been hunting squid ... sorry for the lack of updates

Well for no reason I have been away. If i wanted to make up excuses, i would say i was deconstructing fire engines, like some current day WWII gremlin. Only i have no intention for the Germans to take over... not until they give the Cup-o-Christ back to Indie. Then they can do whatever they want. So for all my Quantum visitors, existent and otherwise ... here is some things i've done in my sketchbook as of late.

Here is a Jolly Roger made up of the skull of Ashley Williams. Over here we have a logo i thought of whilst at the movies. The spokesperson for popcorn everywhere ... Papa Popcorn. Please taste of his varied sized children. Stay tuned for many more sketchbook updates, as my comeuppance for being so damned lazy.

Randomness of my hand

I once had a teacher who hated the use of certain words since no one nowadays used them correctly. Ironic was one of them, a man being hung (should be hanged), and the other one that he wished was erased from the dictionary was the word random, as people say it way too much and never really mean random. Well i think these pictures are random, an assortment of possibilities from a collected library of options ... or something. Maybe its not. Either way, each area of this drawing is a stream of conscious from the Communist Bunny, the screaming bird making bugs explode, to the potentially racist drawing of the black boy, counter balanced by the hardly noticed twin white boy right next to him. (hint, ala Where's Waldo, instead of looking for red and white strips, looks for the free floating nipples.)
I'm not entirely sure what the thing in the middle is. I think it was my penis smoking several cigars. Then i realized my penis doesn't have one red eye, its blue. So it would have to be something else entirely. Youre right world, this ol' Balrog needs more characterzations of my blue eyed, 3 nippled penis with a lisp and a whistle when he tries its S'es.

More zombies for the human masses

So after i made a coworker zombified, i suddenly acquired a plethora of requests. One whole of my roommates (that lives in a room 3000 miles away) asked for me to undead him. So here is Zombie Matt for you viewing pleasure.

Also in the theme of zombies, something from my old archive, here is a zombie broad standing with head in hand for your pleasure. I made it for desktop formatting, though i think it's too small now for practical use. Perhaps if requested, i shall post a fuller version of said picture so you can use it. But since it is rather bland, and my fan base as of this posting consists of my friends I've remembered to tell about this little interweb nugget that is, The Robbie Balrog. Stay tuned for more picture delving further into my necrophilic fetish for zombies and zombie accessories.

The Super Adventures of kinda ink drawing!

Well this title may be almost misleading. This is 100% ink, or a black pen or whatever. No underpencil to trace over. I generally am a pussy about such things, and will rely whole heatedly on simple scribbles of circles and poorly constucted genitalia. (thats how i make torsos... you wouldnt believe how many dinosaurs I've made starting with a labia.) So some artist say an ink drawing entails a brush or quill or a bottle or something but I on the other (8 dinosaurs. I think it was 8 labia riddled dinosaurs. The 1st true Americans)

Here we see the exploits of Robomom and Space Raccoon. For these, i just started with the eyes, or something, and just kept drawing until i got bored or too impressed with the drawing and feared ruining it. Note that Robomom has a robofetus that is unplugged. Pull what philosophical extrapulates you will from such imagry. (secretly i wanted to really draw a robofetus, and a plug seemed logical to add)

Hades Lad

Well i started this a few nights ago, but then had to pee. Instead of getting all the way out of my chair away from my computer, walking down a flight of stair, opening the bathroom door ... etc etc ... i instead changed my clothes into a jumpsuit, bent over to rip a hole in my crotch seem with my teeth, jumped on my bed and peed all over the room while twirling wildly. Sadly i hit my head on my ceiling mobile of The Electric Mayhem and clipped my brow on Animal's snare and was conked out until a few hours ago. So i finished this neato pic of Hellboy but i don't know if i like the shading technique I'm using or not. So for your viewing pleasure here he is, jumping somewhere for some reason, in shaded and unshaded glory.

question mark block

Dada da doo da DA! ... da.
Bahda da, dooda daDAH dada ... doodah dada dadadada dada... Rahda doop bahdah doodop bah bop, doowop bahda da da da. (dum dum)
Rahbah bah boobah baba ba ba, baba ba boo babeh. Rahda da dooda dada doo da. YA DA DA DOO DA DADA! (dum dum) OHGODNO!WHYDIDHEFINDTHATTHING!HESKILLINGMEWITHAMAN!
AMUSHROOMMANDAMNIT!

Some Grimm pictures for thou

Well there was this contest to make up some concept art for an up-and-coming game based on Grimm fairy tales. I meant to send it in, but then i lost the internet address or something, or got cold feet. Whatever, either way i was too lazy to google the contest, and now i saw a trailer for said game coming out soonish. Either way i really like the Hanzel oont Gretal picture, and I'm happy enough with the Red Riding Hood picture, despite it somehow has less background than the former picture.

So here is my concept for Hanzel and Gretal. Obviously one would prefer to illustrate the delcious house, or the brurning of the witch. I thought, though not orginal i would presume, that the kids were evil and one should almost sympathize with the witch. Infact now that i think about it, that was a fairly amusing joke on The Addams Family. Perhaps upcoming I'll make a fresh piece with my version of the Addamses.

Well I was going to add a forest, but then i didn't feel like doing anything else to this picture. Really I wanted to see if I could make the faces of the grandma and the woodsman glow from the belly, only using tools in Flash. I think it comes across, but i will conduct further experiments in this digesting endeavur. Look to this page soon for such queries.

That's what he looks like? I hate his face

So it seems my loyal fans are dying to know who is this handsome man is that has bestowed them such creations from the vaults of Valhalla's sketch room. Or at least how incredibly cute he must be. Well fret your fretters no more, for here is a near accurate portrait of my lovable face. And for you ladies, I don a top hat. Now who that hairy guy is attached to my ass, I'm not entirely sure, he jumped in front of the camera last second. Jerknut.

And for those who care, the title of this piece is calle 'Disappointment in Size'

Beware the furminous Deversgreen

There once was a project being entertained my a friend of mine, that we would work on, it would be great, it would end racism and cure herpes. Well like most of my bioengineering endeavors, it fell through due to overly pronounced laziness. The project was a short film by said friend, and we then to make a comic. I'm boring myself. Here is an American who was experimented on by the Nazis (for some reason) and held together by a series of leather belts (appropriately named Buck Leather). He is fighting a summoned demon called the Deversgreen, loosely based on a roommate of mine, and when i say loosely, its really a photograph of him. Oh, this was illustrated in Flash for those who care. Do you? No? Then why did you ask?

Being tipsy, bub

Well I'm not tipsy, but i put some red thing on Wolvie's nose, which i thought would be darling, but it either looks like he is a lazy clown or drunk. Let's go for drunk, [Geek Alarm] tho some of the more hearty of us West Chester Institute enthusiasts will note that Logan's healing factor doesn't allow for optimal drunkness, as he is sober as a priest on Sunday within minutes of downing the largest bottle of pure grain absenth he can get his stubby little mutie paws on. (which most of the key ingredients of said drink, not illeagal to obtain in Canada for you bootleggers out there) So enjoy my drawing i made at like 5am last night.

buh ... blah ... guh

Well i had a nifty idea i stole right from an artist i admire. The idea is drawing folk i know as zombies. The current in the series is a coworker of mine, so i thought i would share that on my ... buh ... eck ... blog. Yea, we got to fix that ugly word now. Right now. So as pointed out to me by some of my geekier friends, who have just happened to both watched the entire extended LoTR and the other friend is super pumped about the new Street Fighter, throwing around the word balrog as opposed to blog seems to do fine. So please enjoy my latest BaLrOG.

Zombie Nora

You Farggin' Bastich

There is a whole bad fiction story i wrote to go with this spippy title. Currently i have no plans to allow you access to this masterpiece in the works. The short end of it is i created a character loosely based on the old radio heroes of yore. (ala The Shadow and The Green Hornet) But most of you can already smell through my layered bullshit, and know i wanted to create my own Lobster Johnson. I am weary of his claw, are you?

Well this fancy fellow, always addressed by his full moniker The Cactus Bastard, can be in a story in today's age or back in the good 'ol Nazi bashing 40s. (either way he is on the hunt for Nazis, even if they don't presently exist) He has a history of sidekicks, as they are incredibly expendable in his line of work, but each one's death warrants an over the top dramatic proclamation of Cactus Bastard's inner pain, raising an angered fist to the sky - at such a God that would condemn him so. One such example is The Helmet Kid whose only protection is a steel helmet as all villains would prefer to shoot minors in the head.

Also The Cactus Bastard has his own cavalcade of rouges and scoundrels to deal with. One such man is The Frog, loosely based on Christopher Walken. Another is one of seven deadly assassins, Doc.

And ofcourse, the mayo eating, cactus sleeve wearing, Nazi jaw snapping, cow tipping, muffin enjoying hero, The Cactus Bastard. Hero of such adventures like The Midget Cometh, The Mystery of the Mirror's Urination, and the ever popular Twenty days until Bill's Mother's Period.

If you're curious about the thing on his arm, that is his cactus sleeve. It shields him from bullets, and when it is shot at, needles break off and spew forth toward the revolverer. There are also several cacti balls to grapple onto various ledges and so on. Also he has a gun, because in my opinion not enough campy heroes have revolvers. Imagine all the time super man would save if he simply caught the guns thrown at him, and just flinch the gun through the badguy's head. Crime would not exist, crime would be dead with major head wounds.

A real post, for shits, giggles, and hynerias

Well I guess i should have some real work up here, so I'll let you gander at some crap I'm proud of that i was forced to do in school. Hmm, that sounds akward, that i did in college. Nah, that sounds like i could have gone to any 'ol art school. That i did in University. Yea. Here are some things i did in University.

These guys here are all the same guy. Salisbury the Clown. But as you may notice, he both looks different and has a much more robust title. We started out with a character, and were to make a turn around for him. Then as the course went on we made several more versions of that character, in the style of whatever time-period of animation we were studying. I also get bored easily, and it wasn't enough just to remodel my precious clownie-pants. No, i added to his prestige each reiteration.

Turn Around (n): animation term; character(s) or object(s) subjugated to semi-humiliating, quasi-voyeuristic viewings from multiple angles to get a sense of dimension, anatomy, and used as a model for other artists to use as a guide. Generally the thing in question will be shown from basic angles as if it were 'turning around' on a Lazy Susan™.

This here is original flavor Salisbury. Well he is retooled a bit because my teacher didn't like the old one, or the cut of his jib, or Salisbury owed my teacher some money. I forget how the story goes.

Here he is in an old 1920's style. Animation became popular since alcohol was illegal at the time, and people needed a way to have mind-numbing hallucinations without being able to legally affect their minds. And even when alcohol came back and crystal-heroine was invented, animation still entertains surrealistically in a mescaline filled world. (the more you know)

This happy- go- lucky son- of- a- bitch was modeled after the late 20s style of animation. You know, where people's arms and legs were made out of rubber tubes because of polio. So they made their cartoon characters reflect real-world diseases of the time. Like that Mouse that whistled on a steamboat? Really that was some captain who had regional elephantiasis of the head. Died a painful death as i recall, and jest about.

Remember those Magoo cartoons? Remember how flat they were, and you could recite the jokes before Magoo spat them out, even if you never saw the cartoon before, and you thought as a five year old that you were precognitive, then freaked out that you knew the word precognitive and tried to predict your dog's death and were eerily close to the point you thought you were God and burnt down a small African tribe with your mind because they could have been praying harder? Remember that? That's the style this guy is in.

The final Salisbury was in an animation style, or a specific animator's style we liked from today's age. I was going to go with Ren & Stimpy, but i figured kids from the previous years have done that to death. So i picked an obscure reference to most, (but not terribly unknown in University) was in the style of Doug TenNapel. Creator of Earthworm Jim (characters), The Neverhood (check your local videogame library) and eventual creator of Nickelodeon's Catscratch. (which was my loophole in picking him as an inspiration.) If you don't know who the man is, go Google his ass, and get back to me how infinitely cool he his. DO IT!