The Calamitous Kidney Caper

Yup, only a few minutes ago i posted my animation demo reel. Well i did't just want to tease folk wanting to see some bad drawing move poorly. So here is a much labored animation i did for my senior year at University of the Arts. Just for some back story, you should know that the only real impressive thing about my animation is its sheer length. Most animations in the show were 3-5 min, and that was pushing it, even for the people who spent all 2 semesters and the previous summer working on their own masterpieces. Mine is 10 min in length, and was enssentially constructed in the final semester, with about 70% of it being completed in the last 2-3weeks. Once you see it, the back of your head will scream 'And it shows' but thats neither here nor there you jerk.

The other thing you should know about this piece is that the internet is not its optimal viewing designation. There are key jokes that are designed for how it was originally shown. Every year, the seniors who finish an animation show it off in an auditorium down the road. Every year there are mishaps, like students running in several minutes before their animation was to play in the show, with a last minute, freshly burned, DVD to play. More often than not, the DVDs have not been made properly, and suffer horrible, unplayable, glitches. Others use the recommended miniDV tapes, as they should be reliable, but maybe the tape itself is damaged, or worse yet the player is malfunctioning.

So to theoretically view this piece at its peek, you should imagine yourself in a darkened theater, with art students and their parents surrounding you. You have seen several animations and several student film pieces. The film pieces are too long and the animations don't go one for as long as you would like. For some reason several pieces have attempted to play, but something horrible went wrong, right at the moment of a pivotal scene or funny moment. The audience sighs 'Awww' and hopefully that film or animation will play later in the show, hopefully glitch free. Then comes my piece, a 10 minute animation, clearly demonstrating a lesson in patience. Click play, and allow the magic to flow into you, and enjoy The Calamitous Kidney Caper.


The Calamitous Kidey Caper

What? he Makes drawings ... dance?

Hello and welcome the the next current installment of entertainucrap that i have lovingly bestowed upon your sweet brows. Yes, it is true, i was once an animator, and before that, i was once a human. But time has ravaged me so hideous, the only thing i could do now is hole myself up, and draw 10,000 pictures sequentially so that a poor-anatomical mouse-man can read the newspaper whilst on the toilet. RIVETING, to say the least. Well my intro to those who have yet to bare witness to my raw animation talent, feast your collective peepers at my demo reel, put together from the finest pieces i have. Coincidently, they are also the worst pieces i have. This is the everything folks, summed up in about 2 minutes.

For some reason, on occasion, after the little entertainment has finished playing, and the little fetus at the end takes a bow, this trademark site that hosts my video shows similar videos that potentially you, the audience, may care to see or have interest in. And once in awhile, there's a short 30 second clip of some woman enduring the birthing of her child. Screaming, teeth clenching, an unenthused doctor, and buckets of blood are all present in the creation of my animations, and apparently in child birth as well.

Randomness of my hand

I once had a teacher who hated the use of certain words since no one nowadays used them correctly. Ironic was one of them, a man being hung (should be hanged), and the other one that he wished was erased from the dictionary was the word random, as people say it way too much and never really mean random. Well i think these pictures are random, an assortment of possibilities from a collected library of options ... or something. Maybe its not. Either way, each area of this drawing is a stream of conscious from the Communist Bunny, the screaming bird making bugs explode, to the potentially racist drawing of the black boy, counter balanced by the hardly noticed twin white boy right next to him. (hint, ala Where's Waldo, instead of looking for red and white strips, looks for the free floating nipples.)
I'm not entirely sure what the thing in the middle is. I think it was my penis smoking several cigars. Then i realized my penis doesn't have one red eye, its blue. So it would have to be something else entirely. Youre right world, this ol' Balrog needs more characterzations of my blue eyed, 3 nippled penis with a lisp and a whistle when he tries its S'es.

More zombies for the human masses

So after i made a coworker zombified, i suddenly acquired a plethora of requests. One whole of my roommates (that lives in a room 3000 miles away) asked for me to undead him. So here is Zombie Matt for you viewing pleasure.

Also in the theme of zombies, something from my old archive, here is a zombie broad standing with head in hand for your pleasure. I made it for desktop formatting, though i think it's too small now for practical use. Perhaps if requested, i shall post a fuller version of said picture so you can use it. But since it is rather bland, and my fan base as of this posting consists of my friends I've remembered to tell about this little interweb nugget that is, The Robbie Balrog. Stay tuned for more picture delving further into my necrophilic fetish for zombies and zombie accessories.

The Super Adventures of kinda ink drawing!

Well this title may be almost misleading. This is 100% ink, or a black pen or whatever. No underpencil to trace over. I generally am a pussy about such things, and will rely whole heatedly on simple scribbles of circles and poorly constucted genitalia. (thats how i make torsos... you wouldnt believe how many dinosaurs I've made starting with a labia.) So some artist say an ink drawing entails a brush or quill or a bottle or something but I on the other (8 dinosaurs. I think it was 8 labia riddled dinosaurs. The 1st true Americans)

Here we see the exploits of Robomom and Space Raccoon. For these, i just started with the eyes, or something, and just kept drawing until i got bored or too impressed with the drawing and feared ruining it. Note that Robomom has a robofetus that is unplugged. Pull what philosophical extrapulates you will from such imagry. (secretly i wanted to really draw a robofetus, and a plug seemed logical to add)

Hades Lad

Well i started this a few nights ago, but then had to pee. Instead of getting all the way out of my chair away from my computer, walking down a flight of stair, opening the bathroom door ... etc etc ... i instead changed my clothes into a jumpsuit, bent over to rip a hole in my crotch seem with my teeth, jumped on my bed and peed all over the room while twirling wildly. Sadly i hit my head on my ceiling mobile of The Electric Mayhem and clipped my brow on Animal's snare and was conked out until a few hours ago. So i finished this neato pic of Hellboy but i don't know if i like the shading technique I'm using or not. So for your viewing pleasure here he is, jumping somewhere for some reason, in shaded and unshaded glory.