So oops, I forgot i should be an animator. Also forgot that i still do things and should tell folk. So here is an internet commercial i did for a credit union, (about a year ago) Viriva. Look them up if you are in the philadelphia area and are looking for a credit union. (there. though i didnt sign a contract saying i couldnt show this work, i think that promotion should avoid any imperial entanglements)

Enjoy. 10 Rob points to the fellows and fellas (wait ... that doenst sound genderly female.) who can accurately guess who plays which voices. (hint, don't limit your thoughts to think of only non-celebrities ... oh yea, that guy/gal) <-- genderly female

The Calamitous Kidney Caper

Yup, only a few minutes ago i posted my animation demo reel. Well i did't just want to tease folk wanting to see some bad drawing move poorly. So here is a much labored animation i did for my senior year at University of the Arts. Just for some back story, you should know that the only real impressive thing about my animation is its sheer length. Most animations in the show were 3-5 min, and that was pushing it, even for the people who spent all 2 semesters and the previous summer working on their own masterpieces. Mine is 10 min in length, and was enssentially constructed in the final semester, with about 70% of it being completed in the last 2-3weeks. Once you see it, the back of your head will scream 'And it shows' but thats neither here nor there you jerk.

The other thing you should know about this piece is that the internet is not its optimal viewing designation. There are key jokes that are designed for how it was originally shown. Every year, the seniors who finish an animation show it off in an auditorium down the road. Every year there are mishaps, like students running in several minutes before their animation was to play in the show, with a last minute, freshly burned, DVD to play. More often than not, the DVDs have not been made properly, and suffer horrible, unplayable, glitches. Others use the recommended miniDV tapes, as they should be reliable, but maybe the tape itself is damaged, or worse yet the player is malfunctioning.

So to theoretically view this piece at its peek, you should imagine yourself in a darkened theater, with art students and their parents surrounding you. You have seen several animations and several student film pieces. The film pieces are too long and the animations don't go one for as long as you would like. For some reason several pieces have attempted to play, but something horrible went wrong, right at the moment of a pivotal scene or funny moment. The audience sighs 'Awww' and hopefully that film or animation will play later in the show, hopefully glitch free. Then comes my piece, a 10 minute animation, clearly demonstrating a lesson in patience. Click play, and allow the magic to flow into you, and enjoy The Calamitous Kidney Caper.


The Calamitous Kidey Caper

What? he Makes drawings ... dance?

Hello and welcome the the next current installment of entertainucrap that i have lovingly bestowed upon your sweet brows. Yes, it is true, i was once an animator, and before that, i was once a human. But time has ravaged me so hideous, the only thing i could do now is hole myself up, and draw 10,000 pictures sequentially so that a poor-anatomical mouse-man can read the newspaper whilst on the toilet. RIVETING, to say the least. Well my intro to those who have yet to bare witness to my raw animation talent, feast your collective peepers at my demo reel, put together from the finest pieces i have. Coincidently, they are also the worst pieces i have. This is the everything folks, summed up in about 2 minutes.

For some reason, on occasion, after the little entertainment has finished playing, and the little fetus at the end takes a bow, this trademark site that hosts my video shows similar videos that potentially you, the audience, may care to see or have interest in. And once in awhile, there's a short 30 second clip of some woman enduring the birthing of her child. Screaming, teeth clenching, an unenthused doctor, and buckets of blood are all present in the creation of my animations, and apparently in child birth as well.

A real post, for shits, giggles, and hynerias

Well I guess i should have some real work up here, so I'll let you gander at some crap I'm proud of that i was forced to do in school. Hmm, that sounds akward, that i did in college. Nah, that sounds like i could have gone to any 'ol art school. That i did in University. Yea. Here are some things i did in University.

These guys here are all the same guy. Salisbury the Clown. But as you may notice, he both looks different and has a much more robust title. We started out with a character, and were to make a turn around for him. Then as the course went on we made several more versions of that character, in the style of whatever time-period of animation we were studying. I also get bored easily, and it wasn't enough just to remodel my precious clownie-pants. No, i added to his prestige each reiteration.

Turn Around (n): animation term; character(s) or object(s) subjugated to semi-humiliating, quasi-voyeuristic viewings from multiple angles to get a sense of dimension, anatomy, and used as a model for other artists to use as a guide. Generally the thing in question will be shown from basic angles as if it were 'turning around' on a Lazy Susan™.

This here is original flavor Salisbury. Well he is retooled a bit because my teacher didn't like the old one, or the cut of his jib, or Salisbury owed my teacher some money. I forget how the story goes.

Here he is in an old 1920's style. Animation became popular since alcohol was illegal at the time, and people needed a way to have mind-numbing hallucinations without being able to legally affect their minds. And even when alcohol came back and crystal-heroine was invented, animation still entertains surrealistically in a mescaline filled world. (the more you know)

This happy- go- lucky son- of- a- bitch was modeled after the late 20s style of animation. You know, where people's arms and legs were made out of rubber tubes because of polio. So they made their cartoon characters reflect real-world diseases of the time. Like that Mouse that whistled on a steamboat? Really that was some captain who had regional elephantiasis of the head. Died a painful death as i recall, and jest about.

Remember those Magoo cartoons? Remember how flat they were, and you could recite the jokes before Magoo spat them out, even if you never saw the cartoon before, and you thought as a five year old that you were precognitive, then freaked out that you knew the word precognitive and tried to predict your dog's death and were eerily close to the point you thought you were God and burnt down a small African tribe with your mind because they could have been praying harder? Remember that? That's the style this guy is in.

The final Salisbury was in an animation style, or a specific animator's style we liked from today's age. I was going to go with Ren & Stimpy, but i figured kids from the previous years have done that to death. So i picked an obscure reference to most, (but not terribly unknown in University) was in the style of Doug TenNapel. Creator of Earthworm Jim (characters), The Neverhood (check your local videogame library) and eventual creator of Nickelodeon's Catscratch. (which was my loophole in picking him as an inspiration.) If you don't know who the man is, go Google his ass, and get back to me how infinitely cool he his. DO IT!